Lessons Learned: How bad do you want this?

One day, I will get back to being a real. live. blogger... but until then, this one's from the archives. (Really, I am working on some new material-- this is something I want to do!)  This is from my previous blog, The Pudgy Parson.  I kept that one while I was both a pastor and losing weight.  This post is from 2 years ago, after I had been on my journey nearly two years ago.  But since this is a version of something I regularly ask my clients, I thought it was time to bring it back.   I'm getting ready to start a weight loss challenge with them, so I'm asking them to dig deep and get out of their comfort zones.

I've been there.

"How bad do you want this?"

One of the benefits to being an "advanced" trainee is that I usually just come in and do my workouts on my own.  My workout partner and I are trusted enough to just handle it.  If I happen to be in the gym with He-who-trains, he is usually either training someone else or doing his own workout--which means that aside from some small form corrections, he leaves me be. But last night, I had the poor timing to come in as he was just finishing up.  And even though I had a lovely "first leg day in weeks"   workout planned due to the fact that I'm still babying a grouchy back, he decided that it was a nice day to make me cry  in just a few short minutes. Well, I didn't actually cry but that was only because all of my energy was going into not dying. He had designed a BRUTAL, but very back friendly, workout for me, and he wanted to see how I did with it.

It was baaaad. It got to the point where I could no longer lift any weight, and then to the point where my own body weight was too much. But there was a point where I was doing ATG (Butt to Ground) squats on legs that felt like cooked spaghetti noodles, and quite certain that I was not physically capable of standing back up. Either he or the angry voice in my head asked a question.  "How bad to you want this?" (Come to think of it... it must've been him.  My voice would've asked how badly I wanted this. Dying is no excuse for poor grammar.) I wish I could say that the question gave me a new burst of energy and that I finished strong.  I did not.  I had to sit down because my legs could no longer support me.  I was lightheaded. I did, however, finish knowing that I held back nothing.

 I've thought about the question a lot. Do you want this enough to give it your everything? Do you want it enough to overcome your whiny voice that gives you a thousand reasons not to?  Do you want it enough to not only do it again (and again and again), but every single time to challenge yourself to be better than the last time?

Maybe that's really a life question, not just a gym question.

Lessons Learned: Living Like Winnie

When I became a trainer, I had great aspirations of writing life changing inspiring blog posts that would help people on their own road to weight loss. Yeah that didn't happen.  I've been so busy being a paid bully professional motivator, that I quit writing.  I'm hoping to pick it back up soon, but I've realized that a lot of people are fighting the same battles I fought, and having to learn the same hard lessons I've had to learn as I lost 100 lbs through diet and exercise.  Until I can write some new material, I'm going to post some of the lessons I had to learn.  I didn't always enjoy learning them, but  I couldn't have gotten here without them.  There are, after all, no short cuts.

These posts come from my original blog, The Pudgy Parson--which I wrote as I started with my trainer and kept up through several years.  I was a pastor then-- and nothing but the poor victim client of my trainer. I didn't know everything I now know about the body.  I only knew that losing weight was hard.

Living like Winnie

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." ~Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

    I first saw this quote tattooed on my cousins body--which maybe makes me a laugh at little bit.  But the quote has sort of grabbed ahold of me, and it's become something that matters to me--something that I have to remind myself every now and then.  Because not only have I been guilty of limiting myself, I've been just as guilty at letting other people's thoughts and expectations limit me.

    He-who-trains taught me a lesson once. It was a high intensity cardio day, and I had been on the bike for almost 45 minutes.  I was sweaty and tired and fully believed that I had given it everything. I thought when the timer said "45", I was done.  Of course, that's the moment He-who-trains chose to come up and tell me that I wasn't done-- that that was only the first half.  And not only that, but that I was to crank up the resistance.  It's admittedly been awhile, but he said something like "When you think you can't go any more or any harder, put your head down and push through it."

I did.  And I'm only exaggerating a little when I say I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  If I thought I was sweaty before, I had not yet begun to sweat.  (No seriously, like wring me out because there is no dry spot on my shirt sweaty.)  But I've not forgotten what I learned: that there is much more in me than I am often able to realize.